Mills-and-Boon

1.) If you have a beer, you don't go around door to door trying to give it to someone else. 2.) Nobody has ever been hanged, tortured, or burned at the stake over his particular brand of beer. 3.) You don't have to wait 2,000 years for a second beer. 4.) No one will kill you for not drinking beer. 5.) Beer does not tell you when or how to have sex. 6.) You can prove you have a beer. 7.) There are laws saying beer labels can't lie to you. 8.) There have been virtually no major wars fought over beer. 9.) They don't force beer on minors who can't think for themselves. 10.) You can switch your brand of beer whenever you want without losi

To purchase a kiss: Lean in to smell my hair. Say that it's soft as spun starlight And that my eyes Are anything but the colour Of dirty dishwater. Comment on the weather. Touch the clouds above my eyes And ask if there's been rain Lately. Call me petite (not short) And tell me that you'd like to carry me around In the top pocket of your favourite shirt While I sleep. Describe me as strong; Passionate and intense And let your right hand find refuge In the small of my back (no lower). Crack jokes Until I crack a smile And tell me about the quiet evenings You spend alone with your guitar And how you split your head open